Holi Rishikesh

You know it's not the best idea to self diagnose your illnesses. I do this from time to time and it often makes me feel worse than what I actually am. It usually gives me the sense of impending doom.  Right now I have a parasite swimming along inside my gut somewhere, happily eating whatever food I supply it. "Dinner time", I shout just to let him know his food is on the way down. How do I know this you ask? Well, I took it upon myself to look on line, Doctor Tom can diagnose any ailment at the touch of a button.
Unlike when we were in Mandrem and I was projectile vomiting, this time I had running water from my backside! I also kept doing these eggy flavoured burps. So I check online and what do you know, diarrhoea and sulphur burps = parasite. It couldn't be anything to do with the fact I hadn't eaten eggs for ages and demolished a couple of fried ones the day before, no that couldn't be it. It couldn't be just a mild bout of food poisoning that caused the water from the rear, or could it. Perhaps Doc Tom got his diagnosis wrong. Maybe I'll have to say goodbye to my little friend Pete the Parasite for now.  

The next morning the tap had stopped running. Allison had gone out leaving me to regather my strength. She walked into world war 3, Holi festival was in full swing with powdered paint being thrown from all angles. She came back looking like an artist had used her face as a canvas.

"You have to come out", she said, I realised that experiencing Holi festival is a once in a lifetime opportunity, "Ok, let me get ready" I responded. I had to man up and use ancient yogic energy techniques to help me through the celebrations. We left our hotel, Allison looking like she was already a part of the shenanigans, whereas I was as clean as a whistle. I approached some locals to ask if they could put some paint on me so I could fit in better. They smeared my face with paint powder and then proceeded to throw buckets of water over me. I was unaware of the water component to the celebration up to that point.
I was now looking more decorated and feeling more confidant to walk down into the fracas, but still had to catch up with the work of art that was Allison, which didn't take long at all. We couldn't get 10 metres without someone approaching us to smear our faces with paint. For some reason they like to get it right in your face, smear it in your ears, up your nose, even in your eyes as Allison will attest to.
The main square was now becoming deserted and all that was left was the aftermath of the war, people covered from head to toe in colour and water. Our walk continued with minor skirmishes breaking out every so often, paint in the face, water over my head, then more paint in our faces.

We made it to the Nirvana cafe alive and in one piece, but I was soaked through as I hadn't managed to dodge the buckets of water being thrown down from the rooftops. Perhaps Allison's police training enabled her to evade any incoming H2O because as far as I could see she was as dry as a bone.
We holed up for a while with some hot drinks and waited till 2:00 pm, apparently it all calms down by then, after a quick recce we decided it was safe to be back on the streets and went to get some food at our favourite lunch time haunt, Rawat. They serve cheap thalis there, both of us can fill up for 2 pound 50! And then they still ask if you want more dhal, rice or chapatti.  

Rawat reigned supreme for a fast, cheap and healthy meal.

A leopard can never change his spots, I'm not really sure about that but I'm guessing they can't. But I'll tell you something I do know, they eat cows! And I know this because I saw the carcass of one that a leopard had decided to tear off it's head. Sergio, a fellow traveller was in his room and heard crazy sounds coming from outside late at night. The next day the owner of his guest house took him to the spot where the leopard had dragged the dead cow. They both took me a long the next day, "keep an eye out, just in case its still about" the Indian man said. "Do they eat humans" I asked, "yes, lots" he replied. What the fuck am I still doing here I thought. There are a number of human deaths, and only the week before a girl was killed by a leopard not too far from where we were.

Poor Cow! Beheaded by a leopard.

Three day Pranayama course with Swami Sachinand we read on the flier. Our thought processes of should we or shouldn't we go were made all the more easier by the fact Lilli had done the same course the previous year and said that its not to be missed. 

Our first day started with some brilliant old school 80's aerobics combinations which had Allison beaming from ear to ear. I sware she thought she was back at the Brixton Recreation centre in an aerobics class, but this time it was a magnificently bearded swami instructing the class and not a lycra clad woman. After our warm up we went through some gentle yoga postures followed by some breathing exercises and confidence boosting games. Day two and day three all begun in the same fabulous manner as day one, however the Swami's kriya breathing techniques were added in to these two days. Being sworn to secrecy, all I can say is check out www.artdivine.org and globe trot if necessary to experience this amazing course.

Swami Sachinand & crew

Me and Allison hadn't attended an Ashtanga primary series class since being in Mysore, now with waining physical strength and losing muscle tone fast, we felt it necessary to try and jump back on the more physical style of yoga band wagon. Kamal Singh's name had been banded about Rishikesh as one of the only people to teach this style and he came highly recommended by a number of people. 

"Breathe, breathe, hissssing sound", he would state aloud in time with our movements. It reminded me of an MC at a rave getting people geared up to dance harder and faster. He had this aura of arrogance about him, like a Yogi rock star if there is such a thing, all dressed in white riding his motorbike wearing his ray bans.

Kamal, without sunglasses and riding a strange looking motorbike. 

Alcohol had not passed either of our lips for over five weeks, were we missing it? Yes and no. Yes because it's been a major part of both our lives for such a long time, and no, because it's illegal in Rishikesh and as such there are no adverts or shops or bars which sell alcohol so you haven't got constant reminders of what you are missing.
Goodbye India, hello Sri Lanka. We have now left India behind and are now in Sri Lanka with lots of things to see and do, but first up on our agenda, taking in some colonial beauty? Looking at the gorgeous wildlife? Nope, alcohol, how sad are we.

Beer & a Mojito please, and make it snappy!