Amma's Ashram

Day 1
The afternoon started with Me, Allison and Lili getting a taxi from Varkala to Amma's ashram in Amritapuri. This vehicle was a cross between a rickshaw and a bedford mini van. The journey the driver said would take two hours took a hell of a lot longer.
I still cannot get over the way they drive over here. The way the pedestrians don't flinch when a car nearly clips their leg or takes off their arm. They overtake on blind bends, overtake when vehicles are clearly coming in the other direction, honk their horns repeatedly at needless things then don't bother when it's really necessary. When you come from a working environment where health and safety is paramount and potential hazards are really easy to spot it's so hard to sit in a taxi whilst mayhem ensues around you.
We finally see Amma's ashram in the distance, the sixteen storey tower block in front of us.

On arrival we fill out the necessary forms, passport number, DOB, name, spiritual name? Swami Ali for Allison but we can't think of a suitable one for me. Perhaps by the end of these few days one will suddenly come to mind. We are then given our room key by one of the devotees, by his accent I assumed he was Dutch. The western devotees here all wear white clothes, long cotton white tops and long cotton white skirts for the women and the men. The accommodation is 250 rupees a night, roughly  2 pound 50 and with that food is included (we find out later that very basic food is included).

I picked up some bedding and me and Allison headed off to our room and Lili headed off to a dormitory. It took us ages to find our room as the place is huge and everyone we asked even the ones dressed in the white uniforms had no idea. Allison made a detour to the reception again and actually listened to the Dutch guys directions meaning that we finally found our room no thanks to me and my inability to listen. Our room is obviously quite basic and what I would have expected but I think Allison was expecting something slightly different. I think it was the fact that there wasn't a bed and it was just a mattress on the floor, plus the pillows looked particularly grimey.
We met for an introductory tour at 17:00 where an American guy from Detroit showed us a video of Amma's good deeds and then proceeded to show us round the ashram. He informed us of meal times, yoga class times, showed us where you can meditate and also informed us of that no affection should be shown between couples, public displays of affection are frowned upon here. It must be okay for men to show affection to other men as later we see some locals holding hands whilst walking around the place. I can't get my head round these cultural differences yet. Before he leaves he shows us to where we can get a token so we can sit in line to wait for Darshan with Amma.
Darshan is where you wait in line so you can get hugged by Amma and it's meant to be quite enlightening. I thought when it is my turn with the Divine mother Amma I will ask her to give me more patience but I was sadly to impatient to wait around and get a hug so I went to bed. Allison and Lili held out and sat waiting from 21:30 till midnight. Allison said you could feel her love when she was hugging you. After Allison had received her hugged blessing a devotee asked if she could pass the sweets to Amma so she could hand them out as gifts to the waiting pilgrims. This simple thing is seen as a very honorary task and most people would have jumped at the chance, Allison replied "no, I need to sleep". Bed was a more enticing prospect than serving the Divine mother.
My first impressions of this place is that there are a lot of rude and angry people here. From the guy at the ayurvedic pharmacy chucking things across the counter at us, to a guy refusing to budge on a bench so another person could also sit on it. This place is how I would imagine an ashram to be but on steroids. That all said I think this woman does an incredible amount of good for people in India and overseas so however I view the angry minority is really immaterial, but hopefully my experience does get better.

Day 2
It's not permitted to take photos at the Ashram so taking them can be difficult.
I did some voluntary work today, its called Seva. You are meant to do some to help out the community when you stay. It's only an hour a day so doesn't take up too much precious time. My time wasn't actually that precious here as I wanted to leave but we had booked and paid for a bus to take us to Mysore and it didn't leave for a couple more days (shit) so any time wasting was a good thing.
My Seva consisted of lifting bags of soil from the ground floor and taking them up three flights of stairs to the roof. It was me and an 18 year old Polish guy called Simon who had this task in this extreme humid heat. Whenever I am given physical tasks my ego kicks in and I wanted to beat the young Polish guy in an endurance carrying race he was not even aware he was in. After 20 minutes the Indian woman who appointed us to move the soil said enough was enough and to come back tomorrow. I could have had him, I sware he was tiring!
My competitor Simon-

I had my Indian lunch today so it didn't cost me a penny, there were no spoons available so I had to eat like a native. Just use your right hand to mix up the rice with the curry and shovel it into your mouth. It takes a bit of getting used to and you have to try hard not to get any food down your top.

It is constantly noisy here, recordings of Amma's voice over the tannoy system or loud spiritual music playing. The only respite is the beach where you can just listen to the waves crashing against the shore. But even then your not safe as a man with friends and a guitar can quite easily gate crash your party by a group chant.

My frustration of this place starts to grow and I cannot see how people can find any form of spiritual enlightenment by being somewhere so in your face and noisy. It gets to a point where certain people are even making me feel angry, which is weird when you think I was in a peace and loving spiritual community. 

I decided to take a stroll around the main hall where all the Indian devotees were comfortably sitting there listening to the music. I spot a western devotee in all his white uniform splendour dancing in total bliss and euphoria and I get angry! don't ask me why as I don't even know myself, he just basically pissed me off with his total bliss, adoration and love for Amma. Perhaps I wanted to feel as free as him? perhaps I was just jealous as the only time I have ever come anywhere near that state of euphoria is when I was in my twenty's and had taken a stimulant that made me feel I loved everyone and I could dance all night.

A sneaky shot of my doppelganger, he danced in total bliss and love whilst I hated.

Day 3

I had calmed down a lot from yesterday, perhaps I had started to get used to the constant noise of Amma's ashram.

I promised the Indian woman that I would go back and do some more soil shifting today between 11 and 12. I took my new neighbour along with me Patrukolos who arrived yesterday with his girlfriend from Greece. I thought I would warm myself up gradually with the soil carrying and decided to split a heavy bag into two separate bags to be carried but Patrukolos had different ideas. He took hold of an equally large bag and flung it over his back, the bag then seemed to try and pull him over backwards to the ground but he let go just in time. Ego- I've got this man before we've even started. But the ego was wrong. He hoicked the bag up again, he wasn't defeated and carried it up to the roof. I thought fuck I've got to lift the other heavy one now. My back holds out and I make it up to the top and dump it onto the flat roof. I'm walking back down and I'm now on the ground floor and he's lifting one over his shoulder and he grasps another one in his hand! WTF! He's taken two, I grab two, one in each hand. The Indian woman keeps telling us to stop, he doesn't want to stop and I definitely don't want to stop. We clear the whole lot of soil from the ground up to that roof and another load of soil onto another roof in an hour. No break, just two ego's battling for supremacy. A draw!

To be a Yogi you need to separate yourself from your ego. I'm not doing too well at the moment.

Patrukolos (Fiddler on the roof) with his girlfriend

Allison and Lili's Seva was not as intense as mine. At first Allison was not feeling any kind of work. She definitely wasn't going to clean or do any washing or wiping of dishes so they both decided rather reluctantly on chopping vegetables. How surprised was I to walk passed them later to find them both grinning and actually enjoying this menial task. With the woman singing and the music playing they actually found slicing the tomatoes very therapeutic. 

Between 3:45pm and 4:45pm it was men's swimming hour so I headed to the pool. I met a German man there named Andreas who's Seva was cleaning the leaves from around the pool an hour each day. He was a trusted devotee of Amma and loved her. He made me promise to have Darshan (a hug) with Amma that evening. He said when he had Darshan it was life changing for him, he became enlightened. People come from across the world for a hug with this woman and I must admit I was extremely intrigued. 

The Hug 

Allison, Lili and me each got a token to receive Darshan from Amma, they both wanted a second hug. We waited for 2 hours 45 minutes before we came close to the Devine mother Amma. Just before it was my turn I noticed my spiritual doppelganger standing a few metres in front of Amma with his hands over his heart with a broad smile across his face. Perhaps that is soon going to be me I wondered. It was my turn! She grabbed me close, muttered a few indistinguishable words in my ear and I was then pulled away. I walked off, Allison and Lili were waiting for me as they'd had their hug just before mine. They were waiting for some kind of response from me but I had none to give. I'd just had a hug from a woman and that's basically what it was. A hug, I felt no kind of love or enlightenment and neither had they on their second time round. 

I totally respect what this woman does. She sits on a stage giving hugs out all day long. She was there from 11am till 3am without a break just hugging people. That is some kind of physical and mental endurance. She does a lot of good and she wouldn't be able to do it without the people who have devoted themselves to her. But for me it's all a bit strange and I don't feel overly comfortable there.

Day 4

The last day at the Ashram was the best. Probably because we new we were leaving that evening and heading to Mysore. We relaxed more or less the whole day by the ocean. A beautiful sunset sent us on our way and a crazy devotee doing his devotion yoga to Amma made it all the more a memorable experience.

Holding a picture of Amma in his left hand he does a modified side angle pose whilst his gaze is drawn towards his guru. He would then put the picture down, scream at the top of his lungs, run at full pace into the sea where many signs say 'absolutley no swimming as strong rip tides' and roar like a lion whilst beating his chest like tarzan and punching the waves. In and out the ocean he went, strike a pose, scream, run, beat chest, punch waves.